And so it is...

It's been a long stint of no writing, and I return, no longer spouting verse, counting feet and thinking rhythm.

I stopped for fear of that writing taking from the tangible doing. Doing is what life is about and I learnt that the hard way. I decided to cease the wasting of words and apply that effort in making them true.

So, now do I re-appear having achieved the ultimate of my goals? Am I now at the pinnacle of my progress; the zenith of my Everest? Ummm... no. But I am on my way. And as long as I don't fall off the treadmill, don't stop swimming, I should be okay.


... just like you said it would be.


The topic of relationships – the matter of interactions between two individual human beings – has been twisting around my life these past few months. Within and without, there have been many examples of smoothness, roughness, cracks, balms, joints and breaks.

A friend has chosen to end a marriage and it seems to result in two smiles. Another has had searing pain delivered from a rodent-type person – no smiles there. Yet another just stepped into matrimony and my impression is a certain detached apathy – Almost like an abandonment of individuality. And then there are those who have spent close to forty years together and it seems to be due to a system of 'choosing an alliance' which 'modern' mind-sets dismiss as archaic and hence obsolete. A 'modern'-ness which I subscribe to.

If the universe is cyclic, will we, one day, see the resurrection of those habits of so long ago where it wasn't intellect, attraction and friendship that made life-long bonds but rather social respectability and background? Or, on the other hand, will we see the collapse of the concept of a 'life-long' bond? It seems to be on a declining road of survival, anyway.


Life goes easy on me...


For my own part, I have decided to label the label of marriage as a label that was created to justify society's hypocrisies towards the natural response of one sex's body to the opposite one. (Bear in mind, certain responses to the same sex are deemed illegal)

A few discussions that I had with a couple of the afore-mentioned friends, have led me to give serious thought to this deified institution. It is said to: a) bind two people in a promise of fidelity, that fidelity having many possible connotations of what not to do – Love another, sex with another, covet another, friendship with another, conversation with another, look at another, etc.; b) form a spiritual connection between two people, wherein one may be expected to conjure powers of extra-sensory perception towards the other; c) create an affection for one another that must, must, out-live the person.

Maybe I've allowed myself to become a bit too cynical to accept this easily. If this is what society demands from two people who have proclaimed a "marriage" to one another, I would like no part of it. This is an attitude which works with my current frame of mind, anyway, considering I'm in a fling-ing kind of mood.

It would, of course, be immature to think that opinions don't change. However, suffice it to say that there is quite some skepticism and disillusionment on the topic of 'marriage' as society defines it. Perhaps, more than a judgment, a re-definition is what I need.

Leaving the tangent and returning to my main topic of thought, a relationship with another person, itself, is rather a task to maintain. The connection between two lives has a life of its own and requires its own kind of nurture.

The end of that marriage has caused the life of that relationship to be snuffed out, liquidated, done-in and, in short, made-to-kick-the-bucket. Now, it has been justified by saying that there was no relationship to begin with and that there was no point in just sharing furniture – but the fact is that something was lost even if only in theory. However, the end result is that both parties are more at peace.

The opposite end of the spectrum has actions from one side causing a cataclysmic collapse of all connections and a pulse-stopping pain in the pits of a heart that once remembered what it was to smile. No peace, just pieces. Perhaps a bit overdramatic but the viciousness of certain acts is not a 'matter of opinion'.

And where there is black and white, there is always grey. The method that seems to have worked so well for the previous generation still seems to have its appeal. Will I meet the newlyweds, forty years from now, with that same air of floating-along-with-the-breeze complacence? Peace, in one sense – not like the ocean but more like a glass of water.

Now, I have missed that one rare gem in a field of rocks. They met by chance, dated, were involved for a good amount of time, married and now live... (and this truly fascinates me)... with family. Like I said, that one rare gem. However, not insignificant by a long shot, for this proves that making it work depends so much on the individual minds involved.

At the end of all this analysis, I am left with a resolution that is as unresolved as the original conundrum. A relationship is as unique as the two individuals involved. One new snowflake for every couple in the world.


...most of the time.


While talking of relationships, I have very carefully stuck to the type that occurs between people met in this life. Those that one is born with... now that's a different ball game.

Perhaps another post, another time.

Au revoir!



Lyrics: "The blower's daughter"